The way ‘I’ are…

Fore‘warn’: Reader, please persist, persuade and pretend to explore this stuff. I know at a certain level it might be a cross between being shitty and cruciatingly cryptic, but try and cling to it, making an effort to reach the end. 

P.s: Read the P.s


Yes I had sinned according to them. If you take the pain to go and look up in their rulebook of right and wrong, you may find my act probably in the top left corner. But Hell! Does it make a frigging difference in the way I am? Nay sire and soirée’s… I am, what I am… but being that I will always be something no one else can be.

And I am not bragging there dude…

Guess what happened wasn’t exactly right, but who cares man. You give me shit, and I return it back to you along with a bit of my own. That’s how the universe functions ain’t it? I heard that some Newton nutter had stated that each action has EQUAL and OPPOSITE reaction. Well ladies and their ladahs, I would like to beg exception to that case. I not only give a more powerful reaction, but also the same as you give to me. Gedit? So I don’t care a fuck that I had done it… you come and try to wobble your messy finger right there up my nose, and once you unstick it and carry goo on your nails back to your home crying about how the world is so fucking unfair, matey, you are so damn disgusting!

Oh now don’t get me started all over again man! Who in the Christ’s friggin name are you to tell me that I am scared? Oh hell! All that regular crap… Yes, yes… go on… say that I look shit-scared, and that my eyes are twitching left-right-center-up-down-cross to left-next to down right… Oh goodness grief, give it a break man… I am All-Right! You want me to prove it, just pull my eyes down and you’ll realize they are not as haywire as you suggest. Just hold my hands once, they are not shaking man, I am not bloody lying 

Oh so you say I should and I could and I have and I would and I may and I will and I am… but heck, I don’t see any sign of remorse! Listen buddy… Life’s for living… you live it for the sake of present, not because you have something in the past, which should, oh well yes I admit… which should be hidden or avoided. Get a life mate, ‘cause what the hell… If I go on wetting my pants over what has happened, then I wont even be able to enjoy that wetness… because this roadside dog called guilt will then rob me of the opportunity to fuck that bitch called present. 

Ah! I should have expected this one to come… God! Are you guys running out of valid arguments to counter arseholes like me? Man, you all must be loosing touch for sure… Gave up so early? So easily? I thought you’d use your super whammy for later, when you find that all this while you have been hitting the pointed side of the nail. Sorry did I say hitting? I meant missing-to-hit-the-pointed-side of the nail…

Gosh! Why am I even sitting through this drama! Depressing yaara! I can come up with a million more exotic ways to kill your time, but this! Man you guys have broken traditions and barriers!!! Can there be anything more unbelievable than your belief in your beliefs? Oh man! What crap can you guys start to put your faith in! As if you don’t remove out enough in the morning… Why add more of it throughout the day? And that too in the mind!!! Heard its dangerous… can lead to serious psychological problems all that stinking stuff hiding in your brains…

What the fuck! Do you think you’ll succeed? Man you must have been successfully conditioned in this dog-arse-wiping and then licking-your-own-salivated-mouth. No I am not! I don’t believe, I think. I don’t trust, I act. I don’t care. I live. Yes… you guys must have been computer feeded these fucking ideas, but let me warn you Alec Smart, no such luck with me…  You can’t make me the way you have been made!!! Gedit? I refuse. I am not willing!!!

Guess you don’t understand it easily, do you? Think only some persuasive story will register in your farting brains… All right. So I’ll tell you the story. And with the oath on those bloody ‘holy books’ of yours. Don’t ask me to choose which one though. All are equally stupid. After all, you all are Arseholes supporting another big Arsehole!!! So doesn’t matter which book. But yes, ‘I solemnly swear that all I herewith state is the truth and just the truth… nothing a frigging two pounds more or less. Happy?’

So here’s how it goes, that thing which happened just a few hours back. Oh man… If you start suggesting once again that this little piece of dipshit is making moi scared, then the story is off your hands brother…

Ooooohhk… Here we friggin’ go…

I think, I should mention a little of background details… You know… To clear the air… So… Lets see… Uhmm… Where did all start from? Ah! Beer…

Alcohol man… what will a regular decent guy do in his life without it? What is that morning, when you don’t wake up feeling your head thump in protest against unbelievable quantity of alcohol you stuffed inside? So yes, alcohol was the reason… and alcohol was the result…

Have you ever driven down the road at two o clock in the night jeering a leering at every animate and inanimate object under your line of fire??? If you haven’t, then dude… You gotta be jokin’ man… Is that whore you fuck called life? Nay I don’t mister… you gotta be fuckin’ dead! 

Ok, back to matters of concern… so I presume you wanted to hear this clap-trap of an incident… Yeah so gear up and pull up your defenses ‘cause its not gonna be easy mate…

So I and me pal went berserk in the middle of the night, raging down the streets of city in search of booze. Yes that was fun man… heavy breeze beating the shit outta your eyes… listening to music from the big apple on my arm…chasing cars on the street honking behind them for no reason, and being a friggin’ pest in your nose in general… Maannnn!!! I had fun…

And then suddenly, out of nowhere this bloke comes from rear, riding a stinking superior bike and grinning ear to ear on our crazy faces… What to do yaara… it infuriates you that there is another person in your domain having a better bike. The fact that he challenges you makes it even more complex… After that, you cannot blame me for taking the bait… He asked for his own demise dude…

So this chap thinks since he’s got a better bike and better teeth he can come n mess around with us. As I said earlier, if you start fingering my bloody nose, you will draw out the goo… and so did he…

He came and started pressing his crappy horn, switching his fucking headlights on and off… Then he decided to come and cut me… he nears and feigns once… twice… thrice… and last time, he again comes near… but now I have wisened up… I just give his butting arse a big kick… That sure gives his better bike a challenge. He wobbles beside us… shaking dangerously… and shakin’, shakin’, shakin’ he falls down… and there goes the wisecrack down the drain…

I am not sure, but I think that the bastard skid a few paces before his fucking bike chose to screech to halt. I guess he must have been concussed between the bike and the gravel… ‘cause he ain’t appear to have had an escape… So sonny jim scratched along with the bike, and I suspect one of those protruding spikes must have damaged something somewhere… Gosh… did he deserve it?

I stopped my bike and turned around to look at smoke, dust and grunts rising from the place he had stopped. I walked down, and tried to unearth him from the mess… which was pretty difficult feat, considering how mangled his bike and body were…

His head was stirring amongst the metallic mass. He looked up, and the fumes of a destructed bike cleared for a moment. I saw his eyes… begging to be helped… I saw they were in desperation… crying to be picked up and rushed to a hospital and taken care off… I saw his plea to live, his cry to be given a chance to live… But…

… I also saw something else down there …

I saw (a very surreptitious shade.) of vengeance in there. I saw that he is that scorpion on my back; who will bite me as soon as he will be delivered to safety. That piss-in-the-boots punk was threatening me!!! Me! On whose mercy he was taking his last breaths!!! (I might have imagined it as well, cause for all you know… I might have been looking at my own eyes, reflected in his…) 

And what did I do?

I left him… and not just turned my friggin’ arse on his face… No Sahib’s and Sahibana’s I bloody waved his death certificate in his fucking face… I smiled at him… or it will be… more, you know… judicious to say that I leered at him. Bloody, I mocked him while he was gasping for his last breaths… how could I have done it? How could I???

Wait a minute, what’s that sound? Who is knocking on my door this late? Its four in the fucking morning!!! Is that Mahesh? And what sound is there behind? Who is he talking to? Did I hear handcuff? Did I hear that overtly imposive manly voice of… Brr! Police? 

So you think I deserve it?

You think I will get it…?

You think this is justice?

You think it would have happened in the end…?

What a fucking joke?

Who are you?

You are not real until ‘I’ are… Gedit?

You cannot exist without me fuckin’ Arsehole…

You need me as much as I do…

Neither can live without others survival…

No don’t desert me like this…

You cant do this to me!!!

Its not moral, its not right…

What? You cant laugh me off like this… is morality only restricted to the moral ones? Don’t the amoral ones deserve some pity?

Fuck you man… you wont… you cant… you will not… you cannot… no, please you cannot… don’t… please don’t… don’t leave me…

 

Oh you are a coward… a bloody freaking coward… you don’t deserve to live… you want to screw my case, ain’t it… well brother, it seems I’ll beat you at your own game…

                                                                     (*)

A crash, sound of mirror breaking, combined with the noise of a door being forced to break open.

Silence.

                                                                    (*)

P.s: Ever heard of a treasure hunt? Well the above shit pretending to be a story was like one; underline the word like. I tried to ‘hide’ a few nuggets of human psyche and behavior amongst that shit. Now how you find it, whether you find it, whether you see it as a treasure… that all is your bloody problem. My role of dropping shit is fulfilled.

P.p.s: Sorry for the bad language. Trust me, any offences are not meant to be personal. After all; Its attitude baby…

Comments

Sahil Khamosh said…
Whoa strong stuff man...unusual, un-mushy, powerful and thoroughly entertaining. Think i'll have another look to spot all those psyche nuggets...

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